Tuesday, April 20, 2004

What was once a tolerable Walmart, is now closed. I am sure it was one of the few left of its kind--not transformed into a Super Walmart which is what made it so fucking super.
If while visiting my folks, they would send me on an errand there, I would happily make the trip. I was in and out because it was small and humble and nothing in the store demanded my attention. Everything on every aisle sat passively on the shelves.
But now, like in every fucking Walmart, with its glaring overhead lighting, I am forced to walk for miles searching for a simple shower curtain.
I will not even begin to discuss THE PEOPLE THERE. No one has time for that.
At least I was able to drive my dad's truck. It is big and powerful and I am very small in comparison. I am the envy of the town when I pull into the parking lot with its engine rumbling and hop out of it.
I am riding high in this truck. I am the King of the Road. I will bust you in the chops if you mess with me in this truck. I will nudge your wimpy compact car into the gully.

In unrelated news...I would like to buy one dozen eggs and let them sit in the sun for two weeks so that I can then pelt the neighbors boxy, architecturally barren townhouse.
He has not made the realization that he is no longer in college and should not have his old college buddies with their fancy cars and SUV's over to sit in the GARAGE to drink beer and play darts. Nor has it occurred to him to get married and start a family and SHUT THE FUCK UP. Idiot.
One time we came home to find him sitting on our curb, across the street from his boxy, architecturally barren townhouse, so that he could admire it. Apparently, he had made some modification to it earlier in the day. And now he was sitting shirtless and sweating on our curb.
"If only I had the incredible view my neighbors so fortunately have", he thought to himself.

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