Monday, June 28, 2004

Today while stacking the toilet paper rolls in the cabinet I ran across a little sticker attached to one of them that read, You Could Win $1,000,000 Instantly!
Next to that it said, Look inside the package wrap!

I reached down and picked up "the package wrap." There I found a similar message stating that I "could win $1,000,000 Instantly!" And also, to look inside the package wrap.

I was missing something. So I spent the next few minutes ping-ponging between the coupon and the package wrap searching for the promise of one-million dollars. Or at least something informing me I wasn't a winner. Any kind of indicator would have been good.

You know that little feeling you get when you buy a lottery ticket after not buying one for a long time? And you go home secretly thinking you're going to win because you're special and deserve it god-damn-it?

I guess that would explain why I wasted thirty minutes staring at toilet paper wrap which only turned up a seventy-five cents off coupon.

I don't think I was going to get rich through a toilet paper promotion, anyway.

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