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Thursday, October 21, 2004

I'm a little relieved the surge of visitors has mostly subsided. I don't think I have a little witty anecdote inside of me for each day of the week. Eventually I would have slipped back into my usual practice of being obnoxious and self-absorbed etc. Oh, and let's not forget depressed and whiny. I sometimes like to talk about stupid things that only interest or make sense to me. Like for instance, the fact I'm possibly wearing a tiny vile (that bears an uncanny resemblance to a sample perfume bottle), containing a liquid that looks like ordinary tap water taped to my arm. Jenny gets annoyed when I talk this way.

"Don't SAY that. It's not going to work if you don't think POSITIVE!"

I like to take every opportunity I can to remind everyone how sweet and wonderful she is. She relayed a dream she had to me this morning while getting dressed. Its meaning seemed to elude her.

We were being pursued by some horrible monster and she was doing her best to protect me. Once she had defeated the monster, we were left all alone in the world. Then later I was in a department store trying on a shirt she thought made me look adorable.

This dream makes perfect sense to me since she is supporting and providing for me right now, since I can't. And aside from a few social gatherings now and then, we are two. She and I. Whatever we do and wherever we go. Just us two. But I am "adorable" in her eyes. Inside and out. She tells me this about a thousand times a day. Everyday. And this somehow makes it all worth it. For now.

I think right now she is the bag I am carrying that one day will be empty. Again with the bag of candy.


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