Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Two Amazing Elmo Discoveries

Monday on Elmo's World the subject was books. Dorothy (Elmo's goldfish who fantasizes about him performing various acts pertaining to the theme) pictured him walking a tight rope. While inching is way across, Elmo lost his balance and began to teeter. Instead of plunging to his death he, with his legs straddling the rope, bounced off his genitals and found himself securely balanced again. Therefore...

1. Elmo has no nuts.

Today the theme was family. Although it was never directly addressed during the show, those of us paying attention clearly noted...

2. Elmo has no family.

No nuts. No folks. No nothing. And I am writing a letter to invite him to the vegetarian Thanksgiving we were to attend. He can have our seat at the table eating all the tofurkey he can stand.

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