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Friday, March 18, 2005

:::.... You know I wouldn't be surprised if there was a lengthy waiting list to move into our apartment complex. It's small (four units total), nice yet affordable, close to museums, coffee shops, restaurants, and book stores, and located in a somewhat diverse neighborhood. You know what the best part is?

You don't have to pay your rent until you damn well feel like it! You see, somewhere on the lease it mentions paying on the 1st of each month, but trust me, this is merely a suggestion. Around the 4th, you'll receive a letter stating you owe the office twenty five bucks, but who cares? You still don't have to pay yet. Near the middle of the month, you will receive another reminder to pay your rent in the form of an eviction notice. Despite having a key to the main entrance, they will tape it right to the main door for everyone to see, which will hopefully embarrass you into paying your rent. At this point, you may actually want to scrape up some money. No rush though, you still have three more days! And as our neighbors have so kindly demonstrated, you can pull this shit twice and still have a roof over your head!

I like mailing the rent. We don't have to deal with the boring pleasantries that is so common with leasing agents, with all their "How are you? Everything alright? Do you need anything? Have a great day!" nonsense. Nope. The only person we ever see is this very nice Hispanic man who shows up every other month to replace our $15 air filter with a $1.50 one.

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There are some new 1" button pin sets up at monkey do. Why don't you go buy one instead of hanging around here all the time? The Easter Bunny would want you to. He is watching, you know. If you don't believe me than explain to me why you keep getting marshmallow peeps in your Easter basket? Do you know what's in those? Go here and you still won't know, but here are some interesting Peep facts.

1. In 1953, it took 27 hours to create one Marshmallow Peep. Today, it takes six minutes. (Oddly, every Peep inspector at that time went mysteriously missing.)

2. People like to do curious things with Peeps - eat them stale, microwave them, freeze them, roast them, and use them as a pizza topping. (There is NO WAY anyone would eat a stale Peep!.)

3. Last Easter, Just Born estimated that more than 700 million Marshmallow Peeps and Bunnies were consumed by men, women, and children throughout the United States and abroad. (There is no known record of a dog eating a Peep or Bunny to this date.)

4. It would take approximately 8,000 vertical Peeps to equal the height of the tallest building in North America, Sears Tower in Chicago. (It would take approximately 8,000 people holding me down to make me eat a Peep.)


UPDATE: My curiosity has peeked and the "secret" ingredients, more than I could bare. I have sent out for a box(15 for .99!) and will now share the ingredients with you.

Marshmallow Peeps do not actually contain any marshmallow. And furthermore, nor do any of the store bought packages of marshmallows contain any of the actual marshmallow root.

The ingredients of Peeps is not unlike other confectionery treats you have eaten. The usual sugar, corn syrup, and food dye is present, but with the addition of carnauba wax. That's where the yummmy, gummy, gobbiness comes from. And just for the record, they are just as gross as they were when I was a kid. They taste like new car smell.


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