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Monday, May 09, 2005

:::.... For someone who doesn't even have a job, my life is pretty hectic right now. We've moved out of one apartment and our stuff is sitting in another, but we are currently residing at the Extended StayAmerica.

This is all wrong. I'm supposed to be in our new apartment deciding where to put my Le Corbusier Chaise Lounge and cursing Jenny for having too much shit. Not leaning out the door trying to flag down housekeeping for a roll of toilet paper and some creamer. And in the next few days I have 3 different people asking me to babysit 1 dog, 1 house, 2 children, and 1 cat. Guess which of these is actually potting trained.

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Tip of the Day:

When standing in a closed elevator, make sure to push your floor number instead of standing there daydreaming so when they open again, you won't step out and see that you are still in the lobby. And if this ever does happen, try to play it off as if you forgot something important in your hotel room and casually step back on. Don't look around confused and then blurt out, "Hey, I didn't go anywhere!" and leap back in.


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